As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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