He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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