This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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