Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
