they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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