You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
only if we run a train.
done.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
