Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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