I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
