i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
