ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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