So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why do cheetos always look like penises
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
