Will you blow on my dice?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
