I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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