She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
