I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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