Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
