i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
