There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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