Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
