Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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