You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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