I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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