She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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