Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
