A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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