My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We need to rekindle our bromance
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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