just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Drunk is not a location!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
