WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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