DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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