She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
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