those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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