just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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