what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
