you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
