wake up i wanna do it froggy style
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
