I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.