porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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