so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His hands were made for my vagina.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober