I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash