five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how drunk are you?
Several
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
