she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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