Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
