At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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