id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
