Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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