I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
