I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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