we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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