she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
