Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
