let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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