i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
high people should be assigned attendants
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
