i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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