You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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