Me too!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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