thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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