Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
