This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
