Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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