when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
