you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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