Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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