I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
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I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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